Monday, February 19, 2018

Cut + Paste / A Residency in Motherhood Radio Show



I recently participated in Stella Fiore and Amy Shearn's group of 50+ women creating art during An Artist Residency in Motherhood (read more about my experience here.) As promised, they shared our collective experience in a recent episode on Stella Fiore's Cut + Paste radio show on Staten Island's Maker Park Radio (listen here.) The residency, the radio show and the aftermath continue to be supportive and illuminating.

I started listening to the show at five a.m. two days after it aired. I listened to more of it as I walked home from dropping our child off at school and then finished listening to the program over lunch. I was surprised that I was able to finish listening in one day. That "interrupted" listening followed the very nature of writing while parenting and working.

Screenshot of Stella Fiore and Amy Shearn
during the Cut + Paste Radio show


Stella and Amy brought up many important issues regarding mother artists' sense of permission to create and our feelings of validity around the work that we produce. Since most of our work will not (immediately or perhaps ever) support our families, how do we quantify or qualify our creative time? How do we see our creative time as valid? Amy put it well when she asked, "How (do we) assign a value (on our creative work) to the outside world?"

Stella noted that writing as a parent is "all about the economy of time." Later she added, "by continuing to be a writer, you are setting an example for your children that you can continue to self-actualize even when you are a parent." She noted that in graduate school, her burning question was about how to continue writing after grad school or a residency or any period of focused time generally unconnected to everyday life. These - and more - are the questions addressed on the show.

Amy noted that balance looks different for different writers. There are ebbs and flows, stops and starts. And that's what this group and radio show was about: the many ways that a writer, especially a parent writer, can carve out time and attention.

I am pretty sure that someone told me about An Artist Residency in Motherhood sometime after I gave birth. Did I remember when I heard about Stella and Amy's group? No. And that's a bummer. It is hard to juggle/remember things as a parent and sometimes we miss out on important things and ideas literally in front of us. Below, I'm gathering resources here for you with the hope that you can refer to it when you are ready and refer back to if you forget something.

I encourage all parent writers and friends of parent writers to listen to the show for the community, wisdom and music following the show. (You can hear a line or two about my experience at the 53 minute mark.)

Here is the link to the show and some additional resources mentioned in the show:

Stella and Amy discussing the residency on Cut + Paste Radio

Cut + Paste ARIM 2018 Facebook Group (Stella Fiore will approve mother writers who are interested in joining the conversation and next residency)

Cut + Paste Radio's website

Cut + Paste on Twitter

Stella Fiore's website

Amy Shearn's website

Amy Shearn on Cut + Paste radio this fall discussing motherhood and writing

An Artist Residency in Motherhood

Commonplace podcast with Sheila Heti and Sarah Manguso (which refers to this earlier conversation between Rachel Zucker and Sarah Manguso and Sheila Heti's book Motherhood)

Making Art During Fascism (download a pamphlet from Beth Perkins)

The Baby, the Book, and the Bathwater: an essay in The Paris Review by Heather Abel

MomLists

Poem Advice to Myself by Louise Erdrich

Let's Talk About the Fantasy of the Writer's Lifestyle: an essay in LitHub by Rosalie Knecht

100 Essays I Don't Have Time To Write: book by Sarah Ruhl

For more parenting / writing related resources, scroll through the resources on the right side of this website and click through the section, "Residency & Funding Resources for Parent Writers".

I hope you'll add your own favorite resources for parent writers in the comments section below.



Thursday, February 8, 2018

Collaborative Piece with Cheryl Moskowitz on Artists Re_Solve


Thank you to Artists Re_Solve for pairing me with Cheryl Moskowitz to create something new this last year. We chose the prompt Draw from a crack and emailed each other lines that became a collaborative poem.

You can read our creation, Cracking the Spectrum, and process, here. I encourage you to spend some time on the page reading through the many wonderful creations.

If you are interested in creating your own collaborative or solo work, their list of prompts are really fabulous.

More about Artists Re_Solve:
Following the election of Donald Trump, U.S. artists Geoffrey Cunningham, Mary Lamboley, Tracie Lee, Maya Pindyck, Reem Rahim, Carla Repice, Rebecca Szeto, and Angela Voulgarelis connected to try to figure out what they could do in response to the violences and divisions they saw intensifying in their communities. The artists have known each other through mutual teachers that affirm interconnectivity and the transformative powers of the creative process. In an effort to disrupt dividing lines and to work towards a common good, they developed this online platform for artists across the United States to creatively collaborate in the spirit of resistance and resolution.


Wednesday, February 7, 2018

Confessions of the (Former) Go-To-Parent in Scary Mommy



I'm excited to have my first 2018 byline appear in Scary Mommy. You can read Confessions of the (Former) Go-To-Parent here.

I drafted this essay last May on a self-created Amtrak writing residency It wasn't until a writing retreat last month in Florence, Italy, that I finished editing it and submitted it for publication. Yes, writing - and everything else - definitely takes longer once adding parenting duties into the daily juggling act. But thanks to a supportive and encouraging partner and Cynthia Kane's book How to Communicate Like a Buddhist, writing does eventually happen.

Monday, January 29, 2018

Writing Retreat

Thank you to my husband for helping me to coordinate a three night writing retreat. It was such productive, creative and restful time!

I joined virtual forces with Stella Fiore and Amy Shearn's group of mother writers organizing their own residencies following, at least loosely, An Artist Residency in Motherhood. Stella and Amy will be discussing the collective experience with input from the participants across the globe on Stella's radio show, Cut + Paste, on Feb. 17. I hope you'll listen in!

View of the Santo Spirito facade from the Airbnb apartment
with the camel stuffed animal that our child sent with me on my writing retreat.
View of the side of Santo Spirito as the sun started to set.
I love those round windows and the light.
I booked an airbnb apartment in Piazza Santo Spirito, one of my favorite piazzas in Florence. After one freezing night without heat and using an emptied dresser as a desk since there was only one window in the four room apartment, I was able to leave early and move into a hotel in the center of the city. Listening to my gut, instead of staying put, really helped to make the rest of the time as successful as possible. Thank you to my husband for his quick help with that.

View of the Duomo from the hotel's roof garden.
Yes, I used the zoom function. A lot
Our child's camel on the second night in the hotel.
He was very encouraging.
Even with this little set-back, I was able to accomplish more than I'd hoped. I drafted, edited and submitted poems, essays and children's picture books. I also spent some time reviewing what I had, notes that were scattered in documents and email and updating my writing to-do list. I was particularly thrilled the second night to receive an acceptance to an essay submission I sent out the night before (stay tuned!)

I'm still feeling high from this great experience. Even the preparations for the residency were fruitful as I spent more time thinking about what I had drafted (or abandoned) and what I wanted to work on. I am hopeful that I will be able to rely on this "reset" button for a while and stay on path.

If you are thinking about creating your own retreat, you might start with this Residency Kit from An Artist Residency in Motherhood.

I haven't spent a lot of time away from our four-year-old (not a single night away for over eight months) and decided to find a location in our city.  I figured I'd "waste" less time traveling and be nearby just in case. I talked to our child about my leaving and left him a little clue and hidden treat each evening. We video chatted every evening and morning, which was lovely. I will admit some heartbreak when I opened up my toilettries and found his toothbrush. It wasn't easy to leave him, but he was brave and busy both at school and with Dad.

Closeup of the Porcellino in the Mercato Nuovo
which was cast in 1998 by the Ferdinando Marinelli Artistic Foundry. He is the subject
of a children's picture book I am drafting, so we spent some time together.  
The Porcellino at night in the market.
You can see the plaque about Hans Christian Anderson's
children's book about the pig. Read the story here
The original bronze Porcellino cast by Pietro Tacca,
(1634) is in the Bardini Museum.
This was a copy of the Hellenistic marble Porcellino
now in the Uffizi Museum.
My husband and son came to pick me up at the end.
Here's our son writing where I wrote.


Additional thoughts on do-it-yourself writing workshops and retreats that you might enjoy reading:
Guest Blog Post: A Do-It-Yourself Poetry Workshop
Alliance of Artists Communities


Sunday, January 21, 2018

One Semester Later

Four-year-old exploring the Ear of Dionysius in Sicily. 

As a teacher, I think in semesters. And here I am starting my second semester living, teaching and writing in Italy this time around. This is also the final semester of this particular adventure, which feels mostly like too little time.

Of course, sometimes I wish I could hop in our car and drive to Target for something that I miss (mostly Cheetos, since we've found just about everything else - and more - in Florence.) There are waves of homesickness or culture-shock, like the other day when it took two hours and an appointment at the Apple store to buy a nine Euro replacement part for the phone. (I miss you, smooth-running Washington, D.C., Apple store, no matter how much you intimidated me.)

Mostly, thought, I wish we never have to leave. We are comfortable with our routine and challenged by new words and many adventures to historic and cultural sites. I remain thrilled to reconnect with old friends here, even if we are all more busy with work and families than we were over a decade ago. I love that our son pauses to wave to the butcher and the barber through their storefront windows on the walk home from school. I love watching him laugh and giggle with friends at the birthday parties at school (which are brilliant in all regards. On birthday party days, the kids gather with some parents and treats in the lunchroom from 5-6. Such easy fun!)

I love the morning sun through our large windows. I even love watching the laundry drying outside in the wind. (I do remain worried something will blow away since a clothespin broke while holding up a pair of pants. We have no way to access the courtyard below.)

As for my writing, I've done some. I've created some new, experimental pieces and submitted a number of edited pieces. I've gotten a bunch of rejections and one acceptance since we've been here, which means both that I've done the work of submitting and have more work to do on the writing, editing and submitting front. 

We're all comfortable enough with our lives here that I've scheduled a writing retreat for three nights in a nearby airbnb apartment. I look forward to honing in on some writing projects and pressing on. I am thankful to be in this calm space in which I can do something like this with not only my partner's help, but his encouragement. See you on the other side!


Monday, January 15, 2018

You're the (Writing) Superhero

Father and son walking ahead on Halloween.
Our four-year-old is wearing a red cape with an "S" for Superman.

Our four-year-old likes to pretend that one of us is a superhero and the other is the villain. There villain usually "steals the baby to put him in jail," but that's another short story.

Happily, when we think about writing, there's no villain (or jailed baby.) When you hire a writing coach, the superhero is you. You don't have to wear a bright red cape, but you can definitely accept all of the praise for your final product.

The writing coach will nudge your work in the direction it wants to go with questions, reading suggestions and encouragement. She has the necessary distance to look at the piece objectively. You, however, know exactly what instinct or feeling started your piece and where you hope it will go. In the end, you will be the one who does all of the hard work with each word.

When I work with writers, I help them to develop and strengthen their voice. I encourage them to discover something by writing, writing, editing, writing some more and reading, reading and reading some more.

For more on my writing coach services, read this. The page has been recently updated with sample writing coach packages. Remember that you can always personalize our sessions and any package. You might also be interested in reading what happens during a writing coach session. Before our first session, please consider this list of questions

To book your first appointment or schedule a phone appointment to determine if writing coaching is right for you, email me (chloemiller(at)gmail(dot)com.

Friday, January 12, 2018

New Year & Improved Writing Goals

Ancient sculpture of a seated woman from the National Museum of Archeology in Malta
If ancient Neolithic people could 
you can write a chapter this month. 



I love the fresh start of a new year. This is a natural time to assess your progress and set goals for yourself.

It is also a natural time to drive yourself crazy rather than actually set and accomplish goals. Let's avoid the crazy to try a more practical approach this year.

Writing Goals & Plan
First, ask yourself some questions: What are your writing goals for the new year? What do you think you can actually accomplish and when will you do the necessary work? Set your goals down (maybe even in a Bullet Journal) and schedule time to meet those goals daily, weekly and monthly. Give yourself time to brainstorm, write, edit, submit and read widely.

Writing To-Do List
Break your large project into small pieces (for example: research a particular question, write this scene, etc.) In fact, keep a to-do list of the small steps necessary to complete the full project. If you add, "finish my manuscript" in your to-do list, you're less likely to ever cross that item off your list than if you had written, "write backstory for X character." I encourage you to schedule blocks of time in your calendar to complete these particular tasks.

Write Everyday? No
I've heard the mantra to write everyday since I started reading about writers' approaches. As a teacher, parent and human with unscheduled things popping up daily, that's never been a goal I can meet.

Cal Newport writes in "Write Every Day" is Bad Advice: Hacking the Psychology of Big Projects,  "Hard scheduling rules — write every day! work on research for one hour each morning! exercise 10 hours a week! — deployed in isolation will lead to procrastination as soon as you start to violate them, which you almost certainly will do. At this point, the bigger goal the rules support will suffer from this same motivation drop. To leverage the psychology of your brain, you need to instead choose clear goals that you clearly know how to accomplish, and then approach scheduling with flexibility. Be aggressive, but remain grounded in the reality of your schedule. If your mind thinks you have a good goal and sees your short terms plans are working, it will keep you motivated toward completion."

Be Happy, Too
The first book I read this year was The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin, which a kind friend brought me from the States. I like Rubin's practical approach to meeting goals while being gentle to herself. My favorite resource is her 13 Suggestions for Keeping Your New Year's Resolutions.  She includes the possibility of giving up a resolution and asking for help. This is a general approach I can follow, rather than faltering one day and feeling frustrated enough to give up. You can be happy while achieving your goals. Why would you continue to work towards your goal if that work makes you miserable?

More Resources
There are many more fabulous voices adding ways to meet your goals in the new year. Here are some of my recent favorites:
Writing While Parenting by Sara Burnett
Don't Waste Your Time with Bad Resolutions by Tim Herrera

For more from me, I've written previously about Trusting Your Calendar and Setting Writing Goals

If you need help with your writing to-do list and setting a schedule for yourself, as well as individualized writing coaching, I'm available to work with you. You can read about my services here and email me (chloemiller(at)gmail(dot)com.